Okay, the cartoon show was cute.

The vitamins taste great.

And the movie was okay. The sequel, however, was unnecessary.

But a musical?

Really?

Scribe Marco Pennette, currently of Samantha Who?, is close to signing on to pen the book for a musical based on The Flinstones.

The show will get a cheeky modern twist on Broadway, tackling issues such as Fred's caveman insensitivity, Barney and Betty deciding between fertility drugs or adoption, and "global cooling."

Pennette might want to nab some discounted tickets to Shrek first!

"Rocker" Avril Lavigne and her husband, washed-up musician troll Deryck Whibley , are trying to make the media believe their marriage isn't on the rocks.

Just Tuesday night, though, April was spotted out at West Hollywood nightclub, Coco De Ville, pAArtying with hubby nowhere in sight.

But, even more interesting/troubling, is the fact the she was seen leaving the club with the original “firecrotch” douchebag and multiple rehaber, Brandon Davis.

Wonder what these two losers were up to together?

Sniff! Sniff!!!

[Photo via Finalpixx.]

As we told you last week, Jdimytai Damour, a Wal-Mart employee, was trampled to death by early morning shoppers at a New York Wal-Mart on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving.

Now, a family member of Damour's has just filed a wrongful-death lawsuit.

They claim the store's ads offering such deep discounts "created an atmosphere of competition and anxiety" which led to "crowd craze."

The suit alleges that aside from not providing enough security for the estimated 2,000 crowd, Wal-Mart also "engaged in specific marketing and advertising techniques to specifically attract a large crowd and create an environment of frenzy and mayhem and was otherwise careless, reckless and negligent."

We agree they should have had better security, but we doubt any company would promote frenzy and mayhem.

Those named in the suit include Wal-Mart, the Green Acres Mall next door, a realty company that manages the property, and a security company hired to patrol the property.

We still think they should observe the security cameras and find the people that walked all over him. Seriously, how can you NOT notice you are literally walking on someone?

Police have said they are reviewing the store videos to identify possible suspects, but believe criminal charges are not likely to happen.

And Damour's family also plans to sue Nassau County and its police department.

[Image via AP Images.]

Uhhmm, if Jessica Simpson is playing bingo halls, then why is she still landing magazine covers?????

Why can't they just let this barely C-lister flail around on Dancing With The Stars and then fade gracefully into Z-List-ness????

This must be the doing of some Papa Joe witchcraft!

Anyway, J. Simpleton is on the cover of Marie Claire and brings the LOLs with some fabulous quotations.

The hapless blonde tells mag, "I am the first person to go to Barnes & Noble and and buy the new self-help book. I like to fill out the surveys, then I get my friends' opinions on how I answered to see if I was being honest with myself or not."

You gotta find some way to keep yourself occupied while you're unemployed, right? Too bad she has to drag her friends into it!

Left with few other options, she's going to follow in her father's footsteps. Sort of.

"I've been contemplating taking a college course in religion. I love religion. I remember whenever the book The Da Vinci Code came out, the Discovery Channel did this three-night piece on it that I Tivoed and then watched eight times."

She might have to start with a high school course in religion first!

Or does Gossip Girl's Little J, Taylor Momsen, look all sorts of effed up at the opening of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in NYC on Tuesday night?

She's only 15-years old!

She can't be effed up cause she's not old enough to drink and shizzz, right?

What do U think?

[Images via WENN.]

A new poll shows that 61% of Americans oppose a bailout of the auto industry.

What do U think???

Recently liberated Guy Ritchie looked mighty chipper as he departed from his Punchbowl pub in London on Tuesday night.

The former Mr. Madonna has been sporting a carefree, shit-eating grin since his split from the Material Mom.

Or could it have been the hand-rolled "cigarette?"

Enjoy the single life!

[Image via WENN.]

Not being the center of attention must be killing him!

In a new interview with CNN International, former president Bill Clinton revealed that he won't mess things up for wifey Hillary by meddling in her Secretary of State job or President-Elect Obama's presidential duties.

But, should Baracky ask, he'd LOVE to help out the President-elect!

CNN: How involved do you think you will get in the decisions that your wife will have to make as far as foreign policy?

Bill: Very little. I think my involvement will be what our involvement with each other’s work has always been, which is all the years that I was governor and president, I talked to her about everything. I found her advice invaluable, and I'm sure we'll talk about all this. I mean, I really care about all these profound challenges that our country and the world are facing. But the decisions will have to be ultimately the President-elect Obama's decisions to make about what we are going to do, what our policies are going to be, and she will be part of the team formulating those policies and carrying them out. I'll just try to be a helpful sounding board to her, but I don't think I'll do any more than that. Unless he asks me to do something specific, which I'm neither looking for nor closed to.

So, President-Elect Obama, just in case you didn't know, Bill is here to do anything you need him to, ok?

The bigger the job the better, right Bubba?

[Image via WENN.]

In the new December issue of DETAILS magazine, Pete Wentz opens up a bit more about his life and druggy past.

So, just how did Wentz feel when he found out he was going to be a dad?

Pete says, "I was like, 'Oh my God, this might be the worst possible time to have this conversation. I was definitely scared, just thinking, This is something that's going to exist for the rest of your life and you can't fuck it up…It was a happy accident. But I think that certain things happen for a reason in your life, and maybe it was time to put the wild child in the cage."

Well, at least their baby was a happy accident. Wonder if Jamie Lynn Spears feels that way about her "accident"?

As for his childhood, Pete says, "I was diagnosed with ADHD and depression and, I don't know, you name it­—whatever happened to be the trendy disorder that week."

But as time went by Pete started suffering from severe panic attacks and drug use/abuse became more frequent.

He started taking pills which were "zombifying, you're, like, drooling. For a while, I was a total drugstore cowboy. I had The Pill Book, which is awesome because I could learn every shape and number, and then be like, 'Those are the blue footballs, those are the bars …'"

He even overdosed one time while parked outside a Best Buy and was finally persuaded by family and friends to go to the emergency room.

Thankfully, he was able to quit, saying, "After Heath Ledger, I was just like, Man, this is not going to end up good…I realized I found my soul mate, and it made me want to be a better person. Now, with the baby, I want to be the best dad I can be."

We like our Wentz happy and drug-free!

[Image via WENN.]

We smell more "for-reality-TV" drama brewing here!

Heidi Montag's mother is "devastated" and opening up about her daughter's recent "marriage" to Spencer Pratt.

Montag's mom, Darlene Egelhoff, tells Us Weekly that Spencer is "manipulative and seems to have power over Heidi."

Mommy's also hurt that Heidi blew off Thanksgiving to spend it with Spencer in Cabo San Lucas.

But, even better, Darlene thinks Spencer drugged Heidi to marry her!!!!

She says, "I would like to see a blood test from Mexico. It wouldn’t surprise me if he had her drugged. Spencer has tried to cut everyone out of her life. I've been honest with Heidi, and it's caused our relationship to decline. I'm more devastated about that than the marriage, because I'm confident the marriage won't work out."

Ouch!

Darlene says she and Heidi used to be inseparable. "She was my Velcro, always attached to me. I want the best for my daughter - and he's definitely not it. I think Spencer wants to possess Heidi more than marry her. I think it's the biggest mistake Heidi's ever made."

As for Spencer, Darlene adds, "God says love your enemies, but I never expected it to be my son-in-law."

And when asked how long she thinks her daughter's marriage will last, Darlene responds, "Six months."

Oh, come on, we say at least nine!

Heidi says she didn't invite her mom to the wedding because she was "starting so much drama. She should be happy I found someone I love. Some people go their entire lives without finding that."

How rehearsed.

What does the ever poetic Prat have to say about "Stalker Mom" as he likes to call her?

"I think her mom needs to take a real fat chill pill and be happy for her daughter."

You hear that??? Take a chill pill!

Nanee nanee boo boo!!!